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There seems to be some kind of weird innate understanding of that second bolded part by the people that have these issues. My ex could wield her emotional pain like a sword or a scalpel. She was phenomenal at manipulating my emotions, and if she was in pain she would ensure that I was in pain too. Of course, nothing that I did helped her to alleviate her pain- at the time I didn't realize that it had absolutely nothing to do with me; that her emotions had been permanently screwed up years earlier by daddy badtouch and any attempt on my part to help was doomed before it started.
Skinnyskin, you literally took the words right out of my mouth.
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